Random Quotes,
Murdered by Words

I'm the humblest person I know.

He who laughs last didn't get it

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

The workshop on procrastination has been cancelled

Anyone who visits a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

We never make misteaks.

Here, take this placebo.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it

The best time to make friends is before you need them.

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

What would men be without women? Scarce.

You hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays awake all night wondering if there is a Dog

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

How do blonde brain cells die? Alone.

Recursive loop: See recursive loop.

I am not in denial!

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

I'd give my right hand to be ambidextrous.

All extremists should be taken out and shot!

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The older you get, the better you realize you were

 Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.