Roasting a person is an art form that can be used for entertainment that can elicit unguarded belly laughter. Roasting implies that the recipient is aware of the impending blow and can actually benefit from a solid, humorous, or witty blow.

If you want to roast MindYourOwnBusiness, submit one below, we could use a good laugh.

... opened his mouth and got arrested for indecent exposure

... difficult to forget, but well worth the effort

... as an outsider, what's your view of the human race

... stinks so bad he makes speed stick slow down

I've seen people like that before, but I had to pay admission

... was so ugly as a baby his mama had to feed him with a slingshot

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice

... didn't just fall out of the stupid tree he got drug through the dumb-ass forest.

... is that your face or did your neck throw up?

... mouth is moving, words are coming out, this is never good

... has his head up his butt so often that he had a piece of Plexiglas installed in his navel so he could see where he was going

... so dumb he can't even pass a blood test!

... so slow that he'd have to speed up to stop!

.... teeth are so yellow that when he closes his mouth his eyes light up

... so ugly, that when he stands on the beach the tide won't come in

... will never be the man his mother was

... is about as sharp as a bowling ball

... so dumb, he threw a rock at the ground, and missed

When you look into ... eyes, you can see cows grazing

... teeth are so yellow I cant believe its not butter

... a couple fries short of a happy meal!

... so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of him

... so stupid, If he had a brain he'd take it out and play with it

... couldn't find water if he was washing his hands, fell out of a boat, or taking a bath

... so ugly that his mom had to stick a pork chop to his face to get the dog to play with him

... should treat me with a little more respect, someday, It’s gonna be my tax dollars paying for his prison cell

... a miracle of nature; he has an IQ of 2 and he's still able to speak

Some people have called ... a wit - they're half right

If ... mother and father got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?

He's not the coldest beer in the fridge

If ... got any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

... so dumb, he can't spell dumb

There are big spiders and little spiders, but your Mom is still a slut

The shows not over 'till ... sings

... is so ugly he looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Someday we'll look back on this and laugh nervously

... has the right to be ugly, but he abuses the privilege!

Thank you, we're all challenged by your unique point of view.

I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant

... is so stupid he got hit by a parked car

... is so skinny, he could hang glide on a Doritos

I don't know what ... problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

... so tight, he squeaks when he walks

... so stupid, he'd trip over a cordless phone

Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality

Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Hi, I'm earth, have we met?

Your so old, you fart dust

... so stupid he's an insult to stupid people!

You are no longer beneath my contempt

... underarms are so hairy, he looks like he has Buckwheat in a headlock.

... about as sharp as the leading edge of a BB

... so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom of the heel

Everyone hates ... No, not everyone knows him

 trying to see things from your perspective, but, I can't seem to get my head up my butt as far as you can.

What's the matter ... you get up on the wrong side of the bottle this morning?

A rejection letter from MENSA wouldn't be to much of a surprise for you now, would it?

No, a polygon is not a dead parrot

Were you just visiting this planet

I see that you set this time aside to humiliate yourself

I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter

May a thousand fleas from a camels back infest your armpit and keep you warm at night

Yes I am a agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

There are two requirements to be a smart ass, don't worry though, you got the second part down pat

Too bad the closest you'll ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle

I would have done the same thing for someone I liked

Fools like ... deserve to live

How can I keep a major nerd, in suspense for 24 hours? I'll tell you tomorrow

Don't worry about it, there's no way I could like ... less

... doesn't need to use an insult, he just uses his breath

How many angels can dance on your head?

Hey ..., did you learn to be that stupid or does it come naturally?

... isn't the sharpest crayons in the box

... incompetence is an inspiration to morons everywhere

When you and your mamma had an argument, it was a battle of the wits - Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim verses Half

I hope ... face ends up on a milk carton

If I had a brother like ... I'd put myself up for adoption

... reminds me of opium, a slow working dope

I guess ... proves that even god makes mistakes sometimes

When god was handing out brains, ... must have been holding the door

If my dog had a face like ... I'd shave his butt and walk him backwards

Wow! ... a legend in your own mind!

There's two things I really hate about ... his face!

When ... was born the doctor slapped his mother

... so ugly that when he was born the doctor turned him over and said look twins

... so lazy, that if he woke up with nothing to do today, he'd go to bed with it only half done.

... so dull, he can't even cut a fart

When I want ... 's opinion, I'll rattle his cage!

I'd smack the crap out of ... if I didn't think it would fill up the room

If I want any crap from ... I'd squeeze his head

May ... bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners

Don't let your mind wander ... -- it's too little to be let out alone

When they made ... , they broke the mold. Then, they found the moldmaker, dragged him out into the street, and shot him. Repeatedly!

... 's house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, & a cockroach stole my wallet

Is there no beginning to your good taste?

I see you're out there doing your best -- as usual!

... ass is so tight he could swallow a piece of coal and crap out a diamond

Calling ... stupid would be an insult to stupid people

... face is so ugly it would make a train take a dirt road

Is that your head or did your neck explode

What the heck did your neck step in?

... reminds me of the southern most portion of a northern bound horse 

Stupidity look painful - want an aspirin?

... couldn't find his BUTT if both his hands were tied behind his back

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

If my dog had a face like ... 's I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards

... so fat, on a daily basis he get 3 heart attacks

That isn't yo forehead, it's your hair trying to run away from your face!!

I want you to know that it is perfectly all right to have an unexpressed thought. In your case I even recommend it.

... mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

Go bite a pillow

Your parents met on a petri dish

... is so short and hairy, when he walks around the house his mother screams, MOUSE!

... is living proof that stupid people should not breed

I would never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person

... so skinny you could do push ups under a door

... so stupid it hurts my head

I would never consider calling ... a bitch,(or son of a bitch)-- just because his parents crawl out from under the front porch and howl at the moon all night, has nothing to do with ... !

... mother was a nihilistic broccoli who made other ladies of the night blush in a cave.

... breath is so stinky that people look forward to his farts

"I'd ring ... neck if I could find it."

... so dumb he thinks Martial Arts are paintings by the sheriff

... fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down

When ... was born his mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on

Hey ... ! What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his ass back?

Learn from ... parents mistake, use birth control

... has such a striking face. So tell me, how many times were you struck?

... has the face of a saint. A Saint Bernard that is

When ... was born, his mother was charged for littering

You know I do understand ... I seem to have a way with dumb animals

... he thinks "getting lucky" is finding a penny on the ground

... proves that man can live without brains

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber then they appear

... so dense that light bends around him

... not acting like himself lately. I noticed the improvement immediately

People say ... a perfect idiot. He may not be perfect but he's doing a fine job being an idiot

I would like to insult you but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended

If I killed all the people that hated you it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide

If you can not answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. 

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

Go stand in the corner, practice falling over and I'll be there in a second

Even more insults - thanks for sending all of these in!

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off her cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Chimney's clogged.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay her brain bill.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky's kinked.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

4 cents short of a nickel.

Roast us

What is your opinion of Mind Your Own Business? 

What would you like to see more of?  

 Top of the Page