Insults with Style and Class

Mind Your Own Business with a Smile!  Discover our collection of the most clever insults and witty comebacks ever uttered. Featuring savage quotes from Mark Twain, Mae West, Shakespeare, and more. Arm yourself with intelligence.

"The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved."  J. Russel Lynes





Common British insult definitions:

Bollocks - ( meaning "testicles") is often used figuratively in British English, as a noun to mean "nonsense", or as an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or to mean "poor quality" or "useless".

Bugger - jerk.

Cheeky - just short of rude.




"See, the trouble with you is that you get very resentful whenever anybody reminds you of what you say. If I said what you said, I’d feel the same way.”  William F. Buckley, Jr.





I thought spectacles were supposed to make you look smarter




"If you are not offending people who ought to be offended, you're doing something wrong."  Noam Chomsky





"If you can't say anything nice, at least have the decency to be vague."  Susan Andersen






I wonder if she knew what she was saying





"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."  Mae West





"Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes".  William Shakespeare





"If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox." Christopher Hitchens





"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you - he really is an idiot." Groucho Marx





"I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said."  William F. Buckley, Jr.





"Ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business."  Robert A. Heinlein





I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.