Insults with Style and Class

Mind Your Own Business with a Smile! Discover our collection of the most clever insults and witty comebacks ever uttered. Featuring savage quotes from Mark Twain, Mae West, Shakespeare, and more. Arm yourself with intelligence.

"The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved." J. Russel Lynes

Business cards says "A personal invitation to mind your own business. Your attendance is appreciated"

Common British insult definitions:

Bollocks - ( meaning "testicles") is often used figuratively in British English, as a noun to mean "nonsense", or as an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or to mean "poor quality" or "useless".

Bugger - jerk.

Cheeky - just short of rude.

One skeleton says to another "I have a bone to pick with you"

"See, the trouble with you is that you get very resentful whenever anybody reminds you of what you say. If I said what you said, I’d feel the same way.” William F. Buckley, Jr.

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” John Bright

Text image says "Awesome insults and comebacks"

I thought spectacles were supposed to make you look smarter

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill

Super hero insults villain "You know your fashion sense is bad when you shadow tries to hide"

"If you are not offending people who ought to be offended, you're doing something wrong." Noam Chomsky

Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either.

Fairy says "May the fairy of careless joy beat you senseless with dreams of beavers building dams"

"If you can't say anything nice, at least have the decency to be vague." Susan Andersen

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forest Tucker

Classic put-down, Boy did she look surprised

I wonder if she knew what she was saying

I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.

So which of your personalities are we going to have to put up with today?

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Two cartoon characters in a witty battle of insults insults

"Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes". William Shakespeare

I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.

Sorry if I offended you, I didn't think you'd get it

"If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox." Christopher Hitchens

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.

I love your bushy eyebrows. They look like a cross between Chewbacca and Groucho Marx

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you - he really is an idiot." Groucho Marx

What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.

I don’t believe in insulting people as that would lower the overall level of civil discourse. But just knowing you has truly challenged me.

"I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said." William F. Buckley, Jr.

Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for instance.

"Ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business." Robert A. Heinlein

It’s impossible to underestimate you.

Well aren't we just 2 scoops of grumpy in a bowl full of bitchy this morning

I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

Farewell, dear friend.

Come back soon.