Mind Your Own Business with a Smile! Discover our collection of the most clever insults and witty comebacks ever uttered. Featuring savage quotes from Mark Twain, Mae West, Shakespeare, and more. Arm yourself with intelligence.
"The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved." J. Russel Lynes
Common British insult definitions:
Bollocks - ( meaning "testicles") is often used figuratively in British English, as a noun to mean "nonsense", or as an expletive following a minor accident or misfortune, or to mean "poor quality" or "useless".
Bugger - jerk.
Cheeky - just short of rude.
"See, the trouble with you is that you get very resentful whenever anybody reminds you of what you say. If I said what you said, I’d feel the same way.” William F. Buckley, Jr.
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” John Bright
I thought spectacles were supposed to make you look smarter
“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” Winston Churchill
"If you are not offending people who ought to be offended, you're doing something wrong." Noam Chomsky
Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either.
"If you can't say anything nice, at least have the decency to be vague." Susan Andersen
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." Forest Tucker
I wonder if she knew what she was saying
I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." Mae West
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
"Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes". William Shakespeare
I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
"If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox." Christopher Hitchens
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you - he really is an idiot." Groucho Marx
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
"I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said." William F. Buckley, Jr.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for instance.
"Ninety percent of all human wisdom is the ability to mind your own business." Robert A. Heinlein
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.
Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Farewell, dear friend.
Come back soon.