Mind Your Own Business Jokes and Comics

Mind Your Own Business image with a flying farie

What is the only legal way to earn less then the minimum wage - start your own business.

According to the statistics, 43% of all statistics are totaly worthless

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he
wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign
shop and bought a small sign that read:
"I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door.
Later he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

Job security benefits for a job nobody wants

I'm currently out of my mind but feel free to leave a message

Working seven days in a row will make one week

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

According to my calculations, this problem does not exist

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed

Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing , with a picture of a farie

I can't believe I have to give up remote work, and there is a picture of a evil castle

How long have you worked here? Ever since the boss threaten to fire me

"Milo walks into his boss's office and says 'Sir, I'll be straight
with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three
companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.'
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 6%
raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave. 'By the way,' asks the boss,
'Which three companies are after you?'
'The electric company, water company, and phone company!

The boss said to round up 17 employees, so I said 20

At my last job interview I was offered an opening, the door

One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down
the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a
taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a
nearby police officer. The officer saw the whole thing and said "You
bankers are so involved in your possessions. You didn't even notice that
your arm was ripped off as well" The banker stared at where his arm
used to be and said "OH NO! My new Rolex is gone too!

The boss who is never wrong,

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new
accountant, His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a
few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the new accountant we’re
looking for.

How many optician to change a lightbulb, is it 1 or 2, 2 or 3, 3 or 4

Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing

Always remember to pillage before you burn

Tell me, how many people work in your company? About half!

Why don't they play poker at the business conference? Because the CEO is always trying to get a raise, the COO is stacking chips, and the CMO is just bluffing.

How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!

The boss asked me to start my presentation with a joke… so I used my salary as the opening slide

Let the Pun-ishment begin:

I wanted to start a bakery, but I just couldn’t make enough dough.
My startup making calendars failed—our days were numbered.
I opened a office-supply store, but it folded.
My resume is just a list of things I Excel at.
I was going to start a perfume company, but it didn’t make scents.
Business was slow at my clock shop… guess it was just a matter of time.