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Business Jokes

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What is the only way to earn less then legal wage minimums - start your own business.

At my last job interview I was offered an opening - the door

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:
"I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door.
Later he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

I'm currently out of my mind but feel free to leave a message

Employer:"In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist

According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn!

Almost everything in business is easier to get into than to get out of.

Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

How long have you been working here one employee asked to another.
Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.

One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out. Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a nearby police officer. The officer saw the whole thing and said "You bankers are so involved in your possessions. You didn't even notice that your arm was ripped off as well" The banker stared at where his arm used to be and said "OH NO! My new Rolex is gone too!

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant, His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.