Mind Your Own Business

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Milo was this guy that impressed me with his lack of brilliance and dedication to being a total jerk.  So this is a tribute to him.  If you know someone like that feel free to submit an insult on the main Insults page.   Not all insults are directed at Milo, which proves that nothings perfect...  If you need to use one of these insult just insert your victims name (and duck).

Milo's so ugly, that when he smiled at the police he got arrested for indecent exposure

Milo's a difficult man to forget, but well worth the effort

Milo as an outsider, what's your view of the human race

Milo stinks so bad he makes speed stick slow down

I've seen people like Milo before, but I had to pay admission!"

Milo was so ugly as a baby his mama had to feed him with a slingshot.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice

Hey Milo, is that your face or did your neck throw up?

Milos mouth is moving, words are coming out, this is never good

Milo has his head up his butt so often that he had a piece of Plexiglas installed in his navel so he could see where he was going

Milo's so dumb he can't even pass a blood test!

Milo's so slow that he'd have to speed up to stop!

Why doesn't Milo have a butt? Its like he used butt-be-gone on his backside; when he should have been using chia-butt!

Milo's teeth are so yellow that when he closes his mouth his eyes light up

Milo's so ugly, that when he stands on the beach the tide won't come in

Milo will never be the man his mother was!

Milo is about as sharp as a bowling ball

Milo's so dumb, he threw a rock at the ground, and missed

When you look into Milo's eyes, you can see cows grazing

Milo's teeth are so yellow I cant believe its not butter

Milo's a couple fries short of a happy meal!

Milo's so hairy bigfoot takes pictures of him

Milo's so stupid, If he had a brain he'd take it out and play with it

Milo couldn't find water if he was washing his hands, fell out of a boat, or taking a bath

Milo's so ugly that his mom had to stick a pork chop to his face to get the dog to play with him!

Milo should treat me with a little more respect, someday, It’s gonna be my
tax dollars paying for his prison cell!

Milo's a miracle of nature; he has an IQ of 2 and he's still able to speak!

Milo's  so hairy that he looks like a chiapet with a sweater on

Some people have called Milo a wit... They're half right !

If Milo's mother and father got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?

He's not the coldest beer in the fridge

If Milo got any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

Milo's so dumb, he can't spell dumb

There are big spiders and little spiders, but your Mom is still a slut

The shows not over 'till Milo's wife sings

Milo is so ugly he looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Someday we'll look back on this and laugh nervously

Milo has the right to be ugly, but he abuses the privilege!

Thank you, we're all challenged by your unique point of view.

I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant

Milo is so stupid he got hit by a parked car

Milo is so skinny, he could hang glide on a Doritos

I don't know what Milo's problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Milo's so tight, he squeaks when he walks

Milo's so stupid, he'd trip over a cordless phone

Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality

Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Hi, I'm earth, have we met?

Your so old, you fart dust

Milo's so stupid he's an insult to stupid people!

You are no longer beneath my contempt

Milo's underarms are so hairy, he looks like he has Buckwheat in a headlock.

Milo's about as sharp as the leading edge of a BB

Milo's so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the bottom of the heel

Everyone hates Milo...  No they don't, not everyone knows him

I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but, I can't seem to get my head up my butt as far as you can.

What's the matter Milo, you get up on the wrong side of the bottle this morning?

A rejection letter from MENSA wouldn't be to much of a surprise for you now, would it?

No, a polygon is not a dead parrot

Were you just visiting this planet

I see that you set this time aside to humiliate yourself

I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter

May a thousand fleas from a camels back infest your armpit and keep you warm at night

Yes I am a agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

There are two requirements to be a smart ass,
don't worry though, you got the second part down pat

Too bad the closest you'll ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle

I would have done the same thing for someone I liked

Fools like Milo deserve to live

How can I keep a major nerd, in suspense for 24 hours? I'll tell you tomorrow

Don't worry about it, there's no way I could like Milo less

Milo doesn't need to use an insult, he just uses his breath

How many angels can dance on your head?

Hey Milo, did you learn to be that stupid or does it come naturally?

Milo isn't the sharpest crayons in the box

Milo's incompetence is an inspiration to morons everywhere

When you and your momma had an argument, it was a battle of the wits...Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim verses Half

I hope Milo's face ends up on a milk carton

If I had a brother like Milo, I'd put myself up for adoption

Milo remind me of opium, a slow working dope

I guess Milo proves that even god makes mistakes sometimes

When god was handing out brains, Milo must have been holding the door

If my dog had a face like Milo I'd shave his butt and walk him backwards

Wow! Milo's a legend in your own mind!

Nice face...want a gun?

There's two things I really hate about Milo: his face!

When Milo was born the doctor slapped his mother

Milo's so ugly that when he was born the doctor turned him over and said look twins

Milo's so lazy, that if he woke up with nothing to do today, he'd go to bed with it only half done.

Milo's so dull, he can't even cut a fart

When I want Milo's opinion, I'll rattle his cage!

I'd smack the crap out of Milo if I didn't think it would fill up the room

If I want any crap from Milo I'd squeeze his head

May Milo's bollocks turn cubical and fester at the corners

Don't let your mind wander Milo -- it's too little to be let out alone

When they made Milo, they broke the mold. Then, they found the moldmaker, dragged him out into the street, and shot him. Repeatedly!

Milo's house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, & a cockroach stole my wallet

Is there no beginning to your good taste?

(When you have to witness an occasion that you know will be awful, but are expected to give a compliment) I see you're out there doing your best -- as usual!

Milo's ass is so tight he could swallow a piece of coal and crap out a diamond

Calling Milo stupid would be an insult to stupid people

Milo's face is so ugly it would make a train take a dirt road

Is that your head or did your neck explode

What the heck did your neck step in?

Milo reminds me of the southern most portion of a northern bound horse 

Stupidity should be painful - want an aspirin?

Milo couldn't find his BUTT if both his hands were tied behind his back

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

If my dog had a face like Milo's I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards

Is that your face or did you just throw up?

Milo's so fat, on a daily basis he get 3 heart attacks

That isn't yo forehead, it's your hair trying to run away from your face!!

I want you to know that it is perfectly all right to have an unexpressed thought. In your case I even recommend it.

Milo's mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries

Go bite a pillow

Your parents met on a petri dish

Milo is so short and hairy, when he walks around the house his mother screams, MOUSE!

Milo is living proof that stupid people should not breed

I would never enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person

Milo's so skinny you could do push ups under a door

Milo's so stupid it hurts my head

I would never consider calling Milo a bitch,(or son of a bitch)-- just because his parents crawl out from under the front porch and howl at the moon all night, has nothing to do with Milo!

Milo's mother was a nihilistic broccoli who made other ladies of the night blush in a cave.

Milo's breath is so stinky that people look forward to his farts

"I'd ring Milo's neck if I could find it."

Milo's so dumb he thinks Martial Arts are paintings by the sheriff

Milo fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down

When Milo was born his mother didn't know which end to put the diaper on

Hey Milo! What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his ass back?

Learn from Milo's parents mistake, use birth control

Milo's has such a striking face. So tell me, how many times were you struck?

Milo has the face of a saint. A Saint Bernard that is

When Milo was born, his mother was charged for littering

You know I do understand Milo.  I seem to have a way with dumb animals

Milo's so dumb he thinks "getting lucky" is finding a penny on the ground

Milo proves that man can live without brains

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber then they appear

Milo's so dense that light bends around him

Milo's not acting like himself lately. I noticed the improvement immediately

People say Milo's a perfect idiot. He may not be perfect but he's doing a fine job being an idiot

I would like to insult you but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended

If I killed all the people that hated you it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide

If you can not answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

Go stand in the corner, practice falling over and I'll be there in a second

Even more insults - thanks for sending all of these in!

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off her cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Chimney's clogged.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay her brain bill.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.v Slinky's kinked.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

24 cents short of a quarter.

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